n+1 personals

Generous description of ‘Kafka enthusiasts’ herein

Do the good ones come in waves? When do they arrive? Before the flamboyant Francophiles? Following the trust-fund-tracking artists? Amidst the chatterbox loving, pro-fun proclaiming, Kafka enthusiasts?

After what seemed like a string of entertaining females and males, along came two intriguing spiders; we’ll call them Lonesome Moviegoer, and Rexroth Whisperer. Let me know if my reference to insects has led you off course. Are you still with me?

Although I will probably never work up the courage to make contact, it’s good to have the information, right? After all, a few glasses of Lillet could cure anyone’s absence of bravery.

So, what say you? The Lonesome Moviegoer? The Rexroth Whisperer? Supreme reclusion? Underlying pretension? Is it wrong to want both? Pretend we’ve been best friends since hopscotch and grant me some sound advice.

This side of darkness

Wit is the only wall between us and the dark, said Mark Van Doren. 

As we grow, we accumulate qualities!

Older guy with these qualities seeks smart, slim, verbal never boring woman for love, great fun, and literary adventures. 

She seems delicate.

Slightly oxymoronic, although, only because I seek balanced asymmetry.  I only like black because white is my favorite and therefore its diametric opposite highlights its beauty. Delicate spice. Musical silence. Intense comfort. Free time. Might I challenge you to a crossword sometime?

The Graduate

I am: A 22-year-old male. A soon-to-be graduate of a better-than-most liberal arts college, with an almost-regretful major (philosophy). An aspiring yet already self-loathing careerist (publishing). A Southerner by birth and rearing; a resident of the city by June. I only plan this far ahead when I know I’m not entirely serious. 

*Not* a manic pixie dream girl!

Me: Female, intermittently employed, incurably introverted, perpetually broke fiction writer. Living literary crush: Norman Rush. Dead literary crush: Roberto Bolaño. Looking for correspondence, late night drinks, or whatever else comes after. Not interested in being your MPDG, if you know what I mean. Brooklyn.

You: Can expand my views on philosophy, film, and music.

Shy is just an adjective

Shy and willowy, thirty-something Chicago writer in loveless marriage seeks woman for summer fling. Overly educated, underpaid, you fill in the rest. Must be open-minded (obviously), non-judgmental, and like tall skinny guys. Age is just a number.

Take her to a bar with a celestial jukebox!

Fifty-year-old female trailing a BA in history (European intellectual history in the pre-WWI era) and a JD from the University of Chicago has somehow landed in the lush hills of East Tennessee where she reads her New York papers and magazines and growls at the news alone but wishes to find another who sits proudly on the agnostic fence, who eagerly acts on recommended reads listed in the finer print of the New York Times Book Revew, who thinks all are created equal (and none more so) but misses the ability to spout opinions and ideas without eyes glazing over, and who also enjoys dancing to the celestial music (meaning “quiet is good too”). I am 5’9”, built along the lines of Sophia or Lana more than Twiggy though not plump, facial features compared to Gina Davis, though lack the dramatic lips, dark haired and dark eyed, and living in a mid-modern house in the woods in Knoxville suburbia. Where are you?

the anti-bullshit, anti-cynic writer of love letters

28-year-old female, petite and pretty with inviting lips. Has inexplicably poor French grammar. Detests bullshit, including but not limited to: n+1 personal ads; men with fixies; glib, guilt-driven pseudo-Leftism; foodie culture; moralism tout court; people who take themselves too seriously. Prefers the plastic arts to the literary but will eagerly indulge your love of the latter. Thinks John Cale is the most handsome man alive. Believes in the vivid, the sensual, the hopeful; considers cynicism to be a coward’s game. Seeks an epistolary romance for the summer with man who “gets it”: beautiful letters, maybe sex or maybe not, late twenties or older only.

Sister wifedom in England!

Do you like rainy days for sitting on the couch with your man in front of a hot fire and a couple of cats, kids across the hall in their own living room? Could you live on a hill and walk to town? I am almost 33, a fundraising management consultant starting my practice, and planning to start a junior college in the next two years. My girlfriend is more than a decade older than me and we are concerned that eventually I will want a wife my own age. My marriage expects two ‘planners’ a child told me. I live in England. If I were in America I would probably go raise investment for another tech company and try not to think of regrets.

Tall striking Maui gentleman aged 60 seeking life’s wondrous romantic beauty with lovely woman.

(from the new york review of books)

‘Cathedral’

Me: Writerly not yet a writer, Sunday painter, promiscuous reader, allergic to nothing, fan of contemporary fiction by hyphenated authors. I adore whiskey and scrabble. Vice: gratuitous hi-fives. Virtue: I can make kale chips.

You: Partial to crosswords, participate in readings and boozings with equally measured brio,  call your mom on her birthday. Brunch restaurants are the cathedrals you worship in.

Calling philosopher king!

A hero to win my heart, nourish my mind and satisfy my other desires. Seeks gentlemen 48-70.  

(from the the new york review of books)

The artist with an aversion to authority

Woman, 36.  Small, yellow-eyed, quiet, complex aversion to authority, to inanity, to wastefulness.
 
Seek a man of simple tastes and easy happiness. Prefer whip-smart and big-hearted, but looks do matter. Prefer a non-artist: it does not help if two of us are complicated. Prefer someone who would want to try for the long haul. East European descent is not a requirement, but might help in understanding my strange family. I would like to go on a road trip together across the US, and if we still like each other afterward perhaps we can hunker down, make some babies, found an empire.

So, not a clinger!

I am dreamy but motivated. Seeking a similarly conflicted man. Long-distance relationship ideal!  I only like literature that doesn’t pretend to be easy. I love WG Sebald and Maggie Nelson, and I subscribe to Ugly Duckling although I didn’t read every title last year. I sort of blame my brain and sort of blame Rebecca Solnit’s A Field Guide to Getting Lost for moving me out of New York. I like California and Texas and driving long distances, just not as much as the city and trains. Coastal and pedestrian cities (and maybe Los Angeles) are best.  Ideally you’ll get what I mean and agree. Passion for reading not required but love of the ocean is. Also, in a perfect world, you have to be in Austin for South by Southwest because this is where I live. And starting in May it would be lovely to go to the beach together (the barrier islands of Queens!) at least 2 times per week.